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As in, "get up on stage because you think you can dance better and get arrested" badly.

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Lap dances are almost exclusively of the private variety, so don't come here looking for a two-for-one special. The best pure strip club in Miami -- if not all of Florida -- is a little north of the city, in Hallandale Beach. For reals.

That's a big part of why it's Broward County's de facto after-hours spot, and a fun time even if you don't drop thousands on a Champagne room. It's also the cleanest and most law-abiding of the big Miami strip clubs.

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Ln you're looking for "extras," this might not be the place for you. That's probably best left for a spot just a little south.

Tootsie's is as close to a Vegas strip club as you're getting in South Florida. Except here you can get hard liquor, full nudity, and one of the world's great collections of thigh tattoos.

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While this spot near Hard Rock Stadium is a Costco-sized emporium of silicon and sin, it typically hosts Miami's B-team as krynica-Zdroj fuck dating as crowds and talent are concerned.

Does that mean you can't have a fun time?

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Trashy can be way more fun than classy, after ne. And if you want to actually watch sports in between not thinking about where those dollar bills have been, no club in Miami is better.

Of course, there's always the tried-and-true method of gay bars in boston to bars, clubs, and other traditional gathering places to try and find some kinky excitement. But you've got plenty of those back home. In Miami, we support an entire industry based around finding new ways of getting it on. As long as you're here, you might as well take advantage. Matt Meltzer is a contributing publc for Thrillist who lives in Miami.

Follow him on Instagram meltrez1. Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email.

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P eople come to Miami to get laid. Maybe it's the heat.

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Maybe it's the humidity. Maybe it's because our state makes a map of the United States look like that mule who got a little too excited at the petting zoo. Share on Facebook Pin it. Miami Velvet Rule No.

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Trapeze Ft. Bliss parties While the clubs discussed above are what are known as "on-premise clubs" -- llace is, you can have anonymous sex with other couples right there and then go on your merry way -- Bliss parties are different.

Fetish parties As far as parties go, the Fetish Factory fete on the second Saturday of each month is the grandest, perhaps in the world -- it attracts people from literally all over the globe. Your browser does not support the video tag. Nude resorts Seeking to blow me in semi public place is to nudists what Oregon is to hipsters, but unfortunately most of the nude resorts are on the state's ;ublic coast, specifically in Pasco County. Scarlett's Cabaret The best pure strip club in Miami -- if not all of Florida -- is a little north of the city, in Hallandale Beach.

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